Happy new year

 Happy new year, it is currently 12:31 AM on 1/1/2016

I'm just kidding, its 2026. But this year I want to get closer to my true self. I want to do cool stuff. I'm excited to change a lot of stuff on my website and blogger. I excited to post more on youtube. 

This christmas eve I spent it outside with my family. I had a dentist appointment, the dentist said I was doing a good job. I'm glad because I actually floss everyday. Somehow I still got a cavity, but its ok because she removed it. I spent the day sleepy because I took melantonin last night, but its ok. I went to eat and then my dad's friend brought us up to a high floor where we got a great birds eye view of my beloved city. 

Which do you think look better? 

This year wasn't the best, it wasn't the greatest. My family dealt with a lot of stuff. I got into college, I moved into college, I turned 18. I'm an adult now. Despite me changing a lot, I still feel like I'm still a little kid. And I don't mind that right now. I'm proud of myself for taking initative to do things I've always wanted to do. This was the first year I crossdressed, the first year I cosplayed, first year I did makeup, I have this website and blog now, I started sewing, I locked in hard for engineering. 

I do hope things get better. I want this 2026 to be the year I create a lot. I have many projects and ideas, and I want to create. I see social media talk about how we are gonna make 2026 like 2016. I honestly like that idea. I don't know how I'm gonna go about doing that, but one thing I've already done is kind of turn my instagram into very 2016-esque, same with a lot of UI stuff. (Yes i'm a bum and I emulated my linux to look like windows 7 haha). I have been having fun with retro stuff, but I think to bring back retro into reality, we need it to stop being retro and for it to be just what's the most accessible, and that's already coming back. A lot of gaming on consoles, physically owning stuff, creating own digital spaces. That's all good stuff. 

I hope whoever reads this has a good new year. 

christmas + today + clothing project

 today is december 28, 2025. 

Today just didn't exist for me. yesterday, I laid down in bed and slept at 10 pm to 1 am. I got up and brushed my teeth, then joined discord with a couple of friends. I was there until 3 am, but I wanted to sleep because I wanted to fix my sleep schedule. I laid in bed... 4 am, 5 am, and then it was 7 am. This was the first time I've ever stayed up this late. I don't know how, but I finally fell asleep at 7. Then I woke up at 2 pm, and stayed in bed until 4-5 pm. I got up for my first meal of the day, then hopped back into bed and slept until 9... which is now. This is kind of sad, I'm gonna take melatonin today so I can sleep hopefully at 12-1. 

Anyways about christmas, it actually was great. This was a good christmas. It's been years since christmas felt so lively. I think 6 years. 2020 was, yk , empty. At that time I still had jolly and probably still believed in santa. 2021, I spent the day huddled up in my room, couldn't see my family, and played hypixel skyblock while on discord call. Other years up to now just didn't feel so lively because a large majority of my family could never come. But 2025 was good, at least. 

I got presents, I was very happy. One of my cousins bought me a hollister hoodie with stars on it, and there's fleece inside. It's very warm. Another one of my cousins bought me a cinamoroll ramen bowl :O

So cute, and another one of my cousins got me a small waterproof speaker so I can listen to music while showering now! I just know my roommates gonna hate me. 

Christmas felt good. This year I didn't feel so much christmas spirit because the first half of december was finals week, so obviously you don't feel so much spirit when you're studying hard. I hope next year, I become closer to my ideals and recover from whatever I got going on in my head right now. The new year is right around the corner! 

I've been going outside too much recently. Now this is pretty strange for me to say because I like home, but I keep going outside. You see for the past 2-3 yrs in highschool I became super insecure about being lonely and not hanging out, so I forced myself to make plans. Or at least I was stuck with the idea that I NEEDED to spend school breaks hanging out because everyone else was. This time, I'm not doing that anymore. But I've mainly been going to places alone for fun or just to grab some stuff. I've been a frequent at michaels, grabbing fabric paint and fabric for sewing. Speaking of sewing, check out one of my projects. 

I only censored the bottom right because it's my full mandarin name. Not that it's on very many government docs, since I live in the US, lol. people with keen eyes with be able to recongnize that 黃 is in traditional :). I dislike simplfied, but i have no problem with ppl using it. anyways, I used a squeeze bottle diluted with red and black paint mixed with water for the blood, and I stenciled the crosses using cardboard. I used a fabric pencil for the writing, and the photo doesn't show it well but I sewed a ripped up piece of black fabric to the bottom of the shirt too make it look even more beat up

Oh and I forgot to mention but this is my old high school gym uniform. Never will wear this shirt ever again, so I had some fun. Anyways, i need to eat dinner now. and I want to watch some more yuri. 

merry christmas

 to future me, and to whoever sees this. I really want to start writing long blog posts again, I don't know why I'm acting like such a fucking chud and dumbass who treats blogging like writing 2 sentences. I promise I will write a nice long blog just to get everything out and write about christmas too! I went to a christmas eve party, it was nice, and I just remember how last year on christmas eve I walked to the pier alone, sad, and cold. 

update

parents: They’re rage baiting each other again can they shut the fuck up

Always making up imaginary scenarios “I sacrifice so much and u don’t care” “you’re so selfish” can they shut up for 3 seconds? Always arguing about something so insignificant too and making random shit up bro shut up 

七北真閉嘴，受不了。“你沒愛我你沒照顧我”　我墮落墮落墮落墮落墮落墮落墮落墮落墮落墮落

haircut

am i rertarded

 i've been looking at this and giggling i have no idea why

doki doki got some shit quality so i'm not gonna buy buttttt 

have not played in months

im the calmest ive ever been

but i can't seem to stop thinking

im so mad, im so angry, im so happy here. 

this is a hoodie i sewed the fur fur on. the faux fur is removable

i made this with bleach and a spray bottle. i didn't like the way the bottom left turned out. i already cut this off and made it a crop top. i have patches that i will be sewing on to cover up my skin

this is the back, it looks better. i guess its alright. i bought fabric paint but i didnt know it was glittery. its ok, it looks alright. it looks fine

I like these jeans, i just bought them on depop. they were cheap. they have a nice flare, but they smell bad. like sulfur dye. thats pretty common with black jeans. these are acid washed. i soaked them in vinegar. they will soak over night. maybe soaking solves some problems

i love new york city. i fucking hate everyone here. why are they always some dumb fuck leftist? 

i wish i could become my ideal. what even is my ideal? i wish i could be a girl. hm, maybe not. girls can be mean. let me be pretty for at least 10 minutes of the week. i love wearing stocking that cover up all my flaws that my body scarred onto me. bowties are very cute. i bought a hairclip at buffalo exchange the other day. i havent put it on yet, i hid it where i put all my electronics. next to my rtx 5070 ti laptop gpu and my t490 thinkpad, my dads PSP and my sister's nintendo dsi, along with my cricual 1 tb ssd i downloaded linux mint on. my ipad is also in that box. i have a t490 thinkpad, but i dont like it that much. i want a x220. a crt would be nice too. but that would be a bit performative. i think i wanna find a nice, cheap 4:3 monitor. then i'll run linux on it, and make it look like shitty vista. then i'll put winamp on it. i hate nostagia baiters tho, stop trying to be like me.

mercari closed my account, im mad

I already made a short rant on my main site about this, but I feel like this deserves a longer one here.

Mercari just closed my account because i tried to bypass their stupid government id verification. i already hated the idea of using my ID to verify, because on depop you dont need to verify anything, just put your shipping address, account, that should be enough information. but ok whatever, i try to verify with my ID, which shouldn't be too harmful because I read their privacy policy (yes i'm a bum), but the real deal and problem is the biometric selfie verification. Or in layman's terms, let this AI company called Jumio, take a photo of your face, then store it in a database. Yes, they literally tried to make me take a selfie with my face. And it's not just a selfie, oh no. They want you to spin already your face and everything like that, really making sure to get every single detail of your face there, to store it. I'm not so sure I want to let my face be stored into their database so they can sell it and let bad actors generate AI twink deepfake porn of me. (Joke but still, this is serious breach of privacy). 

And this only started once I made a sale on mercari. I've been crossposting tons of clothing I'm trying to get rid of and sell on depop, mercari, poshmark, grailed. Mercari has been GREAT for me buying secondhand stuff. I got nice pieces from there for pretty cheap, around 20-40 dollars. I was planning on using it more to eye on J-fashion since mercari is the only app of the four that has way more of a market for J-fashion because Mercari is japanese. But once I made a sale, I was like, "Yay! Let's go!" so I went to print the shipping label and BAM: "Verify your ID to continue."

And let it be known the biggest issue of all: Jumio has history of class action lawsuits of biometric data collection, and they say in their privacy policy they'll delete data within 3 years. That's laughable, they should delete people's data right away! If it really was only for identity fraud protection and ID verification, it would take a day at most to store! 

https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/closed-settlements/illinois-jumio-biometric-class-action-settlement/ (2020 settlement)

https://www.classaction.org/news/coinbase-info-processor-jumio-fails-to-destroy-facial-scans-once-account-identities-are-verified-class-action-claims (2024 Coinbase lawsuit)

So yeah, I'm only going to be using mercari when I really can't find stuff anywhere else. Even if I'm trying to buy stuff like ac/dc rag or volcan and aphrodite i bet if i just use a proxy or stuff i could get it from their website. i might just use taobao or smth. i rlly hate buying new tho, since i'm a really second-hand reuse and DIY guy rn. whatever, more reason to keep practicing using the sewing machine and making my own clothing

what can i do?

 after my uncle passed, 4 months ago now a couple days before my move into college, my cousins are alone. 9 months ago my grandfather passed. they both passed in taiwan, my cousins are both in their mid 20s with troubled childhoods. it was devasting for them to not only lose ah-gong but also their dad. my mom texted one of my cousins today, hes the one who is more rowdy and has anger issues, he was in juvy for a bit. i do not get along with him the best, but he is caring and isnt a bad person, just troubled. he told my mom that his brother (my other cousin) started to talk to himself again and that he would play with toys acting like they were talking to him he says that those are his friends, and because there is no one for him they are there for him

neocities self-righteous "philsopher" cornballs

 wow i completely forgot about the clownery that is neocities philsophers. whether it's that one website that has marx mao lenin stalin and the other mass murderers on their cover, or the website where the webmaster thinks hes so important that he left encrypted cipher for when he "disappears" guess what buddy, at least a million other gen z millenials and deranged boomers share your same "niche" views that america = evil and government = evil and "ted kaczynski was right!11!" you think your philosophy where I KNOW better, everyone else is a slave to the media is why the civilization you hate so much doesnt get anywhere. the fact that you think so much higher about yourself and underestimate the common man is why THAT GROUP of people never realize they are much more common than they think they are. 

so many contradictions from these people who live life on the edge. i fucking hate terrorists, i hate congress clowns, in the last 2 months media has destroyed my brain, but there is nothing i hate more than self-important, I READ PHILSHOPY motherfuckers who think civilization will turn inside out. you dumbass. face the wrath of the common man. anti-establishment, anti-police, anti law, your philsophy and politics is so two dimensional i could use it as a piece of paper to wipe my ass with. the only good thing is the critique of religion, but theres too much talk about christianity and none about islam. because all these ppl who claim to have transcended the modern political compass are nothing but anti-west shills who just want to feel better about themselves. 

first time using blogger

hello welcome to my "first" blog (migration from neocities?)

Haha I'm not actually looking to completely migrate from neocities yet. But blogger is kind of a breath of fresh air, the only problem I had with my own website was I was doing everything the old fashion way, creating a new HTML file everytime I wanted to create a new blog. And not to mention a lot of time the css would break on smaller screens. It really made me think "moving away my online consumption from core social media to my own personal site shouldnt be THIS hard, right?" and it really isn't! We aren't in 1990 anymore, so now I can cosplay being in 2005 instead. Blogger is actually really nice, especially since you can see the platform is being maintained cleanly (probably just bug fixes and not something annoying like "AI integration". 

It was a great feeling going down the preset themes section, and seeing that literally everything was immortalized in time. The first section "contempo" is clearly more recent, using more responsive and flat UI design, while scrolling just a bit suddenly brings you to 2010 where you get more "bouncy" skeuomorphism UI with more gradients, shine, and opacity. Maybe it's because I just finished a semester of a Web design class but i've been paying attention to this stuff more now. I've been playing around with the themes but i'm having so much fun. when i was first making a website my goal was trying to create a website that basically looks like the presets that blogger provides, LMAO. see below for what i'm talking about. 

Additionally, since I just pasted a photo in, i have to admit how good it feels to just be able to screenshot and ctrl+v a photo in, rather than... go to my screenshots folder, drag the screenshot into filegarden, copy the link, then type a img src= tag to get my photo in. Definitely a breath of fresh air! 

Anyways about the designs and stuff, i wonder what i should choose? its obviously also a plus that you can edit the CSS whenever you feel like it, (social medias NEED to bring this back).