Winter break is over

Today is my last day of winter break. In a couple of hours, I go take a bus back to college. I'm not excited... It's a combination of a lot of stuff.

I guess I really just don't have energy for certain things. It's only about to be my second semester of my first year, but I already feel like I don't fit in. I don't have energy to socialize, but I feel obligated to. I don't particularly like a lot of people at my college, because all of them are prioritized on partying and greek life. It's not that there isn't cool people, I bet there are. Not to mention my dorm building is so noisy. It makes me so mad, why are people up at 3 am jumping up and down in the hallways? Oh and the food. I hate it. It's so bad I want to cry. Well it's not BAD as in inedible, it's bad as in super unhealthy and I NEED to eat it because I have a meal plan. 

My schedule this semester is the worst too. I am taking, two engineering classes, physics, geography, chinese. It sounds like it would be reasonable, but for physics I need to meet 6 times a week. I have physics twice on tuesdays... what?? And my uni has the worst physics professors from what I've heard. I actually despise this schools engineering curriculum

I don't really fit in with the people here, but I think that's just going to be the same no matter what university I go to. I've discovered that I hate frat parties and I'm not going to go out to parties this semester at all. I made friends in my first semester but just didn't click with most of them. I still kinda forced myself to talk to them because they aren't bad people + I selfishly didn't want to be lonely. Luckily I do like my roommates. I'm just exhausted and winter break was great because I could hang out with people that I liked whenever I wanted, and stay at home and read yuri whenever I wanted. It also sucks that I won't be able to do my DIY's anymore, because I'm not bringing a sewing machine all the way to college. I will bring my fabric paints, but I don't know whether I'd get the time to use it. 

My friend told me I just need to find my people, and he's right because I don't have a set group. I do have people I consider myself close to, but we are in different majors, different dorm buildings, and there's some other circumstances. 

I'm just worried I'm going to spiral again, being at home and having free time defintely did calm me down for now. I also want to find a job. 

 

Here's the last DIY I did yesterday, my last screen printing. Similar to the last one, I just turned this pullover hoodie into a zipup, did the faux fur stuff, then screen printed a design I stole from pinterest

Successful DIY!

    Before, and After! This is genuinely my most successful DIY, I'll explain my process. The original hoodie was a black H&M hoodie my sister gave me since she no longer worn it. I decided to make it a zip-up, so I went to hobby lobby and bought a 20 inch zipper. To turn it into a zipup, I seam ripped the "V" part of the hoodie at the top to make it possible to cut it in half. After I cut it in half, I sewed on the zipper by halves. It's very important to sew the zipper inwards. I will not lie: I quickly learned that I needed to learn how to sew straight when I started sewing. I was getting away with it by doing patches in the past, but now this was very important. I was getting super frustrated with the machine because my clothing kept on drifting to the left. But I realized there was an easy fix, which is to actually put the entire garment on the damn feeder dials... If you can see on this photo below, I was not doing that, because I am retarded. But despite the stitch being so ugly on the first half, on the second half of the zipper I did wayyy better. I completely neglected to do a top stitch for the zipper which is recommended but I really just did not want to do it. Also, I don't have black thread. (just making excuses for myself, this is why I hate myself). The second thing I did was add the lace on the hood. I got the inspiration from j-fashion, especially subcul styles. I kinda just winged the sewing for that. 

Lastly, THE SCREEN PRINTING. I spent so much time on it, and I'm so happy with how it turned out. Screen printing has been one of my biggest friends and enemies. With my leftover amazon gift card balance, I bought this entire kit for screen printing from Speedball. Screen printing is basically creating an ultra detailed stencil using chemicals (photo emulsion). And it takes SOOO much trial and error. 

If you can see on the right side of the hoodie, that was my first failed attempt with the screen printing. Honestly I'm not even mad about how it looks right now, right now I just look at it and think of it as a sign of my labor. 

recent clothing projects + america is not a fascist country and isn't becoming one

 what a crazy title, right?

anyways: i am not conservative, i am not ultranationalist, and i am not MAGA. 

I'm a proud american, and like this country. The fact that a lot of my friends who think that having pride for my country and having some conservative views means I'm MAGA. I don't operate like that, if anything I'm still moderate democrat. But I operate based on having fundamental values and choosing my opinion on stuff, rather than having a team and choosing my opinion based on that team. I believe in: LGBT rights, freedom of speech, freedom of expression (clothing expression, crossdressing), POC rights, abortion rights. But I also: think the police aren't so bad, hate policing people on words, think the recent Maduro capture was justified, find "don't talk to me if you're a republican" stupid as shit. 

this was my first time screen printing, this is a plastic tree t shirt i made. I accidentally underexposed it, and i'm not the happiest with the result, but i'm pretty sure i can salvage it.

America is not fascist, and isn't becoming a fascist country, and trump is not a dictator. Facism: "Fascism is characterized by support for a dictatorial leader, centralized autocracy, militarism, forcible suppression of opposition, belief in a natural social hierarchy, subordination of individual interests for the perceived interest of the nation or race, and strong regimentation of society and the economy"

Trump is not a dictator. People point to venezuela as an example: because trump executed a military action without the permission of congress. Congress has the power to declare war, but the president is the commander in chief. They have the ability to carry out LIMITED military procedures, and usually in response to terrorism. For example, in 2011, obama carried out the mission that killed Osama Bin Laden. It was not approved by congress, but was legal under both US and international law. Dictators and fascists have opposition leaders killed. Maduro, the president of venezula, DID have opposition leaders killed. a lot of them.

I hemmed the shirt because it was too long for me, I got a bunch of them from my friend who said he didn't want them anymore. He wears size L, so these shirts were too long for me

My biggest issue with trump is the epstein files. He's obviously in them, and I hate pedos, I want all of them to drop dead. But when it comes to people saying republicans are trying to "take their rights away" i strongly strongly disagree. People generalize republicans like crazy. I have a friend who's a christian right leaning person. We agree to disagree on tons of stuff. He loves nuclear power, walkability, public transport, affordable housing, and he's a conservative. Isn't it crazy how people who say they "hate all conservatives" would just never want to be his friend, even though they probably have so much in common? 

This is a pretty successful project i had. I turned this old pullover hoodie into a zipup. I bought the zipper from hobby lobby. I'm not done with the hoodie yet. I'm planning on sewing on some lace to the hoodie and sleeves to make it look more frilly and girly, and then I'm gonna screen print some more plastic tree stuff on the front and back. 

Anyways, I don't think america is a fascist country and I don't think it's becoming one. Anyone who thinks american is fascist can have a conversation with me, I'm not aggressive and I'm open to changing my mind.