Winter break is over

Today is my last day of winter break. In a couple of hours, I go take a bus back to college. I'm not excited... It's a combination of a lot of stuff.

I guess I really just don't have energy for certain things. It's only about to be my second semester of my first year, but I already feel like I don't fit in. I don't have energy to socialize, but I feel obligated to. I don't particularly like a lot of people at my college, because all of them are prioritized on partying and greek life. It's not that there isn't cool people, I bet there are. Not to mention my dorm building is so noisy. It makes me so mad, why are people up at 3 am jumping up and down in the hallways? Oh and the food. I hate it. It's so bad I want to cry. Well it's not BAD as in inedible, it's bad as in super unhealthy and I NEED to eat it because I have a meal plan. 

My schedule this semester is the worst too. I am taking, two engineering classes, physics, geography, chinese. It sounds like it would be reasonable, but for physics I need to meet 6 times a week. I have physics twice on tuesdays... what?? And my uni has the worst physics professors from what I've heard. I actually despise this schools engineering curriculum

I don't really fit in with the people here, but I think that's just going to be the same no matter what university I go to. I've discovered that I hate frat parties and I'm not going to go out to parties this semester at all. I made friends in my first semester but just didn't click with most of them. I still kinda forced myself to talk to them because they aren't bad people + I selfishly didn't want to be lonely. Luckily I do like my roommates. I'm just exhausted and winter break was great because I could hang out with people that I liked whenever I wanted, and stay at home and read yuri whenever I wanted. It also sucks that I won't be able to do my DIY's anymore, because I'm not bringing a sewing machine all the way to college. I will bring my fabric paints, but I don't know whether I'd get the time to use it. 

My friend told me I just need to find my people, and he's right because I don't have a set group. I do have people I consider myself close to, but we are in different majors, different dorm buildings, and there's some other circumstances. 

I'm just worried I'm going to spiral again, being at home and having free time defintely did calm me down for now. I also want to find a job. 

 

Here's the last DIY I did yesterday, my last screen printing. Similar to the last one, I just turned this pullover hoodie into a zipup, did the faux fur stuff, then screen printed a design I stole from pinterest